I’ve been passed to pillar to post of Japanese bureaucracy, from idiot acquaintances to backstabbing friend, from the sober smile to the alcoholic wink; each and every one a lie for the past two years.

I’ve grinned and bore it and actually it’s not so bad when you expect to be thwarted by everything at every turn

Last year it was ‘immigration’, which was a cover story for my fucktard boss’ inability to accept that I could’ve gone home but rather than understanding the importance of his workers to see his family once in a while, he felt it necessary to completely fuck up my plans, cost me money, all unnecessarily of course. Later he slipped that he knew that my visa was just fine despite the job change excuse he made to have me change my immigration status in December when it could’ve just as easily have been done in January after my trip.

This year it’s fate itself. Whatever higher power or collaboration of bad luck has come together to – at the very last minute – entirely shite all over my plans to go home for 10 days, see my friends and family, and simply enjoy buying new pairs of jeans that fit me now that my last pair are wearing thin.

Well here’s what I think:

If I’m late by two days I’ll be there. If I’m late by 4 I’ll still be there and will have to cram all my phone calls, shopping and catching up into 6 days. If the elements of everything conspiring against my first trip home in 22 months or so feel that I should be denied the whole fucking trip then that’s just dandy too!

2 years ago I would’ve cried, complained and suffered. Christ, last year when I was denied my trip home that’s exactly what I did too. This year, this time, nothing can stop me now. I might be isolated for the holidays, I might have no plans and nothing to do and no where to go and I might have to spend the whole time in this freezing cold flat with no hot water but it’ll be just fucking dandy!!

So throw them all at me; shit friends, shit family members, shit colleagues, shit weather, shit locations, shit jobs, shit porn, shit students, shit advice, shit past-times for escapism, shitty ineffective pills, shitty machinery breaking down, shitty looks – throw it all! I’ve had it all before and I’ll brave it all again.

Nothing, NOTHING can hurt me now. BRING IT!