“El Capitano, do you ever get fed up of being questioned?”

NO! FUCK NO! I love being questioned! I love being able to explain myself when people misunderstand me. I love being responsible enough to know that I can stand up to scrutiny each and every single time someone accuses me of something I’m not or tells me how I’m doing something wrong. I get HARD when I have the capacity to see my own mistakes pointed out for everyone to see – and my ability to stand up and admit I’m wrong; it makes me a better person.

And better yet, I can be questioned in a variety of different ways! I love it when I’m questioned face-to-face where I can demonstrate exactly what I mean with the full compliment of tools of expression available to me, like intonation, body language and other verbal cues. But I’ll tell you, nothing compares to being able to articulate facets of my personality and expression in the written form – the expressive equivalent of communicating with one hand tied behind your back – to not only justify what I’ve said but to do it in such a way that everyone reading can understand my point and allow the original questioner to enlighten themselves, to have learned just asking.

And yet nothing compares to being trolled; I LOVE being trolled – not the wishy-washy jokes that people make for a laugh, yet take things off-topic any way but PROPER trolling. I can’t get enough, and yet there’s so little quality trolling out there. After all, a good troll makes me look good – not to everyone of course but to the people who actually matter, the people who know me and know I’m not the kind of person who does anything half-heartedly or uses my opinions for self-serving purposes; the people who know I’m biased but biased with an understanding that I can be questioned and that I can be wrong – a bias that lacks ego and seeks to understand.

I LOVE being questioned. Truly, I do. So, please question away because more than anything, I like to question myself. But before you do, I have questions for you: Can you say the same? Do you have the same ability to express your emotions in black and white? Do you have people in your life who care about you? Or did you simply question out of ego to prove to others that you are some how valuable to fill that void? Or did you question because I simply disagreed with your view point? If so, why didn’t you leave your ego at the door? Or did you just question to mock? Did you ask yourself why you felt the need to mock others and not make a joke of yourself? Did I make a mockery of you? And if so, did you question why I made a mockery of you?

These questions are all valid but they all lead to the same one: “Did you ever think to ask questions of yourself before questioning me?” After all, we as human beings are just one big jumble of biases. Some of you may have grown up with certain biases, others maybe have been forced on you, but ultimately the origins of all your questions come from a time when, for whatever reason, you did not or could question yourself, your viewpoints.

So as much as I appreciate my values being double-checked and book-keeping made out of my personal beliefs, my comments being called into question and my requests ignored, derided or even sometimes carried out – I can assure you, I do a lot of that accounting myself. I question the validity of my posts and when I’m not impassioned, I stop to think about what I say in person.

But that’s me. This post is for you. And the one last question I have for you is, “Can you say the same?” But please, don’t answer that. It’s for you to know, for your understanding.

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